Before the Cock Crows

Before the Cock Crows Oil on canvas, 20x26 -2007

This painting reminds me of myself—how I can so easily become puffed up with pride or get my “feathers ruffled” by others. This bird stands with attitude, ready for a fight. He is turned from the light almost defiantly. It causes me to remember to be quick to admit my wrongdoing, apologize and ask forgiveness from God and others. It calls to mind the story in the Bible of the rooster crowing just after Peter denied even knowing Christ three times. It raises the question of whether I am somehow denying that I know Christ through my words or actions..

As we enter Holy Week I was reminded of a prayer of confession I wrote years ago that I still find relevant for myself today:

“Father God, I thank You and praise You that You have the power to forgive sin. I  come to You this morning perhaps with clean clothes, showered, and my hair combed, yet I remain a dirty mess on the inside because of sin in my life. I believe You will forgive me if I’m willing to confess and admit where I failed to obey.

When Peter realized the rooster was crowing and remembered that Jesus had predicted he would deny him before the cock crowed, he ‘broke down and wept bitterly.’  I wonder if he wept in front of everyone. My eyes are often dry when I realize I‘ve sinned. I attempt to cut myself a break, thinking, ‘Surely, I am not as bad as others.’ Forgive me, God. Forgive my pride, my cover-ups, and my lack of tears. Forgive me for seeing the needs of others this week but not responding because I had my own schedule to keep. Father, forgive me for bringing the same sins to you over and over again, as if forgiveness were cheap. But it wasn’t. Jesus paid for it with His life on the cross. I’m sorry. I’m asking You to hear my prayer, forgive me and ‘clean’ me up on the inside. Thank you for your Holy presence and unending love for me and the whole world. I love you too.”

It’s helpful to have reminders in life that point me in the right direction and toward the need to fess up to my mistakes, seeking forgiveness from those I hurt. This feathered friend assists me with this process, although I often wish he’d tone down the volume of his screech and the frequency of his squawking!

“If we confess our sin he is able and just to forgive us our sins

and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

1 John 1:9